HEY THERE FANS ON THE INTERNET, IT'S ME! THE GREATEST EVER! THE ONE AND ONLY:

THAT'S RIGHT YA PUNKS, IT'S ME! THE ONE AND ONLY! THE BIG MAN! THE FUCKIN'

AND THIS IS MY NEW AND VERY OWN PERSONALLY CREATED WEBSITE!

IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, I'M THE FUCKIN' BIG MAN! THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE! I HAD MY OWN TV SHOW BACK IN THE DAY, DURING THE LATE 80S AND 90S

WHAT A HOOT IT WAS TO WORK ON THAT! IT WAS SO GOOD IN FACT: THAT THE FUCKIN' NETWORK CALLED ME UP HALFWAY THROUGH SEASON 2, AND TOLD ME I WAS BEING TOO VULGAR DURING LIVE BROADCASTS! I SAID "TOO VULGAR? YOU AIN'T SEEN SHIT CAUSE YOU AIN'T EVER BEEN TO JERSEY!"!!! THEN THEY FIRED ME AND TOOK IT OFF THE FUCKIN' NETWORK!

JOKES ON YOU BIG SHOTS! I GET 70% OF MERCHANDISE SALES, AND NOW I'M FUCKIN RICH!